Day 1, or is it 2? Sleep Deprivation Kicks Mr Duff into Delirium, and Whose is that Black Bag?

Greetings from somewhere in sunny - no it really is - France.

Well, we’ve had a great start to our Italian adventure, with only a couple of minor hiccups so far. Where has Charlie’s slider slid to on the coach? It’s ok, he’s got it. And which Year 11 boy is gassing the back row? Again, it’s ok: we are seasoned travellers with teenagers and are armed and ready with the Spring Awakening Febreze.

Right, the black bag: whose is it? So, we are trundling happily towards the ferry when an orange, very, very orange hi-viz cladded official thinks, “They look a bit cheery for midnight in dreary Dover.” Out comes the wand of woe to wave us into the customs shed for a random bag check. Three bags are taken from the hold and held up so the owners can accompany them through the security check. Who knew bags needed chaperones? Anyway, one poor black bag is held up but no-one claims it. The poor thing feels abandoned. You can hear its zip handles sniffling, but still no-one will acknowledge ownership of this poor, stretched-to-its limits quivering piece of canvas. But all is not lost. Because we have a new superhero on board: Mr Jones. Or as he is better known, Captain Carousel: no bag left behind, ever! With the should-be-sainted superhero by its side, the blag back sailed through the x-ray machine, before snuggling back into the hold. I did say I was delirious, didn’t I?

Released from the security shed, we sped towards the ferry, only to see its rear end (the stern, I think) edging away from the dock. At that point, I had a few ideas about what I’d like to do with that man and his wand. Still, every cloud and all that… As our coach swung away from the dock to park up, a heavenly sight emerged from the darkness, well heavenly at 1215 when you’ve just missed the ferry: Burger King!

So, full up and raring to go, we boarded the 0220 ferry for an uneventful crossing, other than for our wonderful students being complimented for their excellent behaviour by a secondary school teacher from Burnley - she was so impressed!On that very high note, I’ll leave it there. All is calm and we’re making good progress through the beautiful French landscape.

Bye for now.

Mr Duff